Hello Tanks and Bubblegum Friend,
Todays message is the first day of class. You will be instructed on the terms we are using on this mailing list in order to enhance your enjoyment of the list in the future. It may be a bit boring, but this is to weed out students who aren't really passionate about the subject.
We'll begin with Tank.
===================TANK SECTION.
TANK.
Pronunciation: 'ta[ng]k
Function: noun
Etymology: Portuguese tanque, alteration of estanque,
from estancar to stanch, perhaps from (assumed) Vulgar
Latin stanticare- more at STANCH
Date: 1609
1 dialect : POND, POOL; especially : one built as a
water supply
2 : a usually large receptacle for holding,
transporting, or storing liquids (as water or fuel)
3 : an enclosed heavily armed and armored combat
vehicle that moves on tracks
4 : a prison cell or enclosure used especially for
receiving prisoners
Its my opinion that there is nothing more vulgar than the Latin Stanticare, excepting STANCH. I am sure that most of you would prefer that I keep the mailing list limited to definition 3, as in, the battle tank, or the horrendous death weapon. But I think we would all find that would make for a very unsatisfying exchange. Instead, we will focus on 3 primarily, but the others will be used, if not sparingly. I am personally excited to use function 2.
===================BUBBLE GUM SECTION.
Main Entry: BUBBLE GUM
Function: noun
Date: 1937
1 : a chewing gum that can be blown
into large bubbles
2 : usually bub·ble·gum /'b&-b&l-"g&m/ :
rock music characterized by simple repetitive
phrasings and intended especially for young
teenagers
I intend to use function 1.
===================TANKS AND BUBBLE GUM SECTION.
A Chronology.
1937:
"Bubble Gum" is used as a phrase.
Japan invades China, conquers most of coastal area. This involved TANKS.
Britain begins 999 emergency telephone number. The United States starts 911 service in New York in 1968. In 1968, TANKS from the Soviet Union invaded the Czech Republic. The riots that ensued inspired such graffitti as, "We want structures that serve people, not people serving structures", "Concrete breeds apathy", and, "Reform? Yeah Right."
In 1937, Walt Disney made his first full length classic, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." This does not involve Tanks, thank god. I just report the facts.
1609:
Nothing happened, except a bunch of old guys sat around a fire and hunted. There were no tanks, there was no bubblegum. See what a boring world it was? Hunting, fishing. Sleep, farm. Toil for the King. Avoid scurvy. Bang a wheel down the street with a stick. That was the big entertainment back then.
Tanks and Bubblegum changed all that.
==========TEACHER SWEARS TO PROVE HE'S JUST LIKE YOU SECTION.
Okay. I warned you, the hard stuff first, right? Sorry to be a hard-ass guys, you know how it is, the faculty makes me teach this crap. Yeah, yeah, I know, you freshmen probably aren't used to teachers swearing, but I'm not your typical High School teacher, know what I mean? You'll see a LOT of big differences between High School and college, kids.
Anyway, if any of you have a story that fits into the Tanks and Bubble Gum filing system, send me an email to one38@one38.org and I'll see if maybe I can get it in. I hope to have a story involving either tanks or bubble gum soon so I don't have to start the first "real" post by resorting the standard "Prozac and Oranges" small print.
Graduate Students, if I could see you for a few minutes after class? Thanks!
Professor Owls McGee, PHD.